Ways To Meet New Mamas and Not Be a Creep

When I was pregnant with Evie and Poppy I was SO EXCITED to meet all the new mamas in my neighborhood. Turns out 2020 was not full of mommy and me classes, stroller walks with other mamas or meeting new mamas at the park. After getting over the disappointment of those few years, I am now finding myself in this awkward phase. How do I meet new mamas?

It’s easy right, start talking, ask for their number, but it never seems to go that smoothly. One second your talking and the next one of your children is falling off a play structure or eating something off the ground and the flow of the conversation is interrupted. Sometimes it’s easy to pick it back up and other times the conversation fizzles out and you wave to each other as one of you is chasing your toddler who’s running from the park.

I was trying to figure out the best way to write this and decided two parts were in order. The first will discuss places you can meet other mamas. For me as a mama with older children it can sometimes be difficult.

Places to meet new mamas in your neighborhood

• THE PARK – I know, it’s an obvious one, but sometimes it takes a little effort! Getting everyone out the door and helping your child climb and play. The key here is creating space from your child, let them play independently so you can open up space for conversation.
• MOMMY AND ME – This doesn’t have to be classes, but are there spaces for moms in your area? Perhaps an indoor play cafe or jungle gym or play space. In our neighborhood they do an open play gym on the weekends and all the parents show up with their coffees and watch their children run wild.
• KID EVENTS – Are there any kid events in your neighborhood? Our local recreation centers host craft afternoons or dance parties. The city will have outdoor activities or music. I usually check the local calendar to see if anything is happening for families or kids.
• SCHOOL DROP OFF – If you have a child in daycare or preschool or elementary, there are always new mamas at drop off! It’s an easy place to connect when you have already dropped off the kids. Our school drop off is a big window so I find it hard to connect with other mamas but there are a few who drop off at the same time and I always make sure to chat.
• BIRTHDAY PARTIES – The parties are not only for the kids. There are new mamas to meet and chat with over juice boxes! Perhaps your kids go to the same school so you see each other at multiple birthdays and can connect each time.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH NEW MAMAS

• COMPLIMENT THEM – Who doesn’t love a compliment! I usually try and pick an item of clothing or something they are wearing that’s nice. I don’t focus on the kids or the kid items, I want it to be about the mama, Like, “Ooo I love your shoes!” They’ll probably say thanks or tell you where they are from, then you can go from there.
• ASK THEIR CHILDS AGE – I use this one a lot. For me it’s an easy way to start chatting. I’ll usually save it for a time when my girls start to play with their kid then say, “They’re having so much fun. How old is your kid/child/girl/boy?” Depending on the answer you can keep the conversation going from there. The other day the mama had a little boy the same age as the girls and a baby. We ended up talking about how crazy it was to be a mama in 2020 and she said it’s such a big difference with her new baby.
• OFFER TO HELP – We’ve all been there, you see a mama struggling with her diaper bag or stroller or two kids. Ask, “Can I help you?” If they say yes, laugh about being a mama juggling everything and go from there. Most mamas won’t refuse help.
• CONNECT OVER YOUR KIDS – If your kids are playing together or they do something funny. Make a joke or comment about what they did to break the ice. Connecting over your kids and the hilarious things they do is the easiest way to connect with a new mama.
• BE OPEN – Let a mama come to you! Allow yourself to be open to talking with someone new! If you’re sitting at the park bench hunched over on your phone you probably don’t look like you want to connect with anyone. If you’re standing make sure you are open, be looking at people, don’t have your arms crossed, smile if someone looks at you, there are so many ways to start a connection with someone.

TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

Here’s the hard part, exchanging contact information. For me the hesitation happens because somewhere in my mind I believe they’ll reject me or say no or ignore me. That could TOTALLY happen. I need to trust the mamas that say YES and want to exchange numbers want to connect as well. Let’s look at some ways you can lead into asking for their number.

• SUGGEST A PLAYDATE – If your kids are having the best time together. Let the other mama know you’d love to connect for a playdate, then casually ask for their contact information.
• LET THEM KNOW – After talking with a mama if you had a great conversation, say it! Tell her how much you enjoyed speaking with her and she’s game you’d love to meet up again. If she seems unsure offer to give her your number.
• ANOTHER MEET UP – Perhaps you’re at a park or coffee shop or kids activity you go to often. Ask the other mama if she’s in the area. If she is, share that you come to the specific activity or location a lot and if they’d like to join you another time, share you contact information.

We are in a new phase as mamas. It’s not so easy to chat with someone for a bit and then try and exchange information. When we used to pick up potential partners, we usually had a drink for courage or friends cheering us on. Definitely more intimidating when it’s only you on a playground trying to pick up another mama because she seems cool. I’m here to say the awkward moment is worth it. The friends I have met over the past year, as Mark has pushed me to be brave, are amazing. Although it’s intimidating, you’ve got this mama!