Mama texting on phone while holding baby - Social Media Break - Virtual Postpartum Doula support

Mama, Put Your Phone down to Fall In Love with postpartum

Nothing took me out of the present moment quicker than using my phone. Whether it was to google something about my newborns or checking social media. Both of those caused me to stop trusting my intuition as a mama. When I was going down the google rabbit hole, all the answers were different. What advice should I follow? Who was right? How do I know what to do? With social media it was a lot of comparing. How does that mama do it all? Why can’t I get my twins dressed up in matching outfits and take adorable photos? Where’s my village so I can take a break?

As a mama who is on the other side of postpartum I realize now how much the phone interfered with my instincts, intuition and internal dialogue. Back in the day before the internet, social media, tv’s or phones mama raised babies. They trusted themselves. Questioning how they felt wasn’t an option. Plus slower days simply being with their babies, I imagine allowed them to be more in tune.

I realized early in postpartum that using my phone did not help me. It actually hurt me. I’m not saying this is the case for everyone but for me it was true. It made me feel anxious, not trust myself and sometimes took me out of the present moment. Let’s look at a few ways your phone can affect you in early postpartum.

Sleep & Rest

Have you ever sat down on your baby’s naptime only to be on your phone, look up and realize an HOUR has gone by! I have. It’s awful. Instead of scrolling online you could’ve had an hour long NAP! Also phone time can really affect your sleep patterns, and we all know how much sleep is needed in early postpartum.

Stress & Anxiety

Consuming information on social media or online can feel overwhelming. Plus comparison to other mamas can be distressing. Postpartum is a vulnerable time where there are a lot of emotions, hormonal changes and you’re trying your absolute best to be a good mama.

Bonding & Caregiving

In early postpartum I made a deal with myself to never use the phone when Evie and Poppy were awake. (Unless Mark texted or called.) I stuck to this. Looking at your phone instead of interacting with your baby can affect both mama and baby. Early postpartum is a time to bond, play and interact, not be on your phone.

Mental Health

Social media doesn’t tell the whole truth, but we still fall for it. As a new mama seeing perfect families or sparkling clean homes is not what you need. Your mental health and how you feel is of the utmost importance. Mama focus on your healing, health and new baby. Don’t worry about influencer mamas on Instagram. Plus a lot of mama accounts, in my opinion, make you feel bad or push negative messages to convince mamas to buy whatever they are selling. Don’t trust them, trust yourself.

Self-Care

I know, I know, everyone is all about self-care right now! It’s important. What feels better, spending an hour looking at fake peoples lives online or taking a bath, eating some good food and reading a book! You could accomplish ALL of that in an hour, easily! Mama, prioritize self-care, whatever that means to you.

Breastfeeding

The time when you and baby are together breastfeeding is about bonding, connecting and establishing a good breastfeeding routine. If you are constantly on the phone and not even present with your baby it can interfere with establishing a good bond and breastfeeding rhythm.

I know, I know, you’re thinking but Tijana I like using my phone. I do to. For me I realized how much it DOESN”T add to my life. Now I use it as a tool to connect with friends, watch funny videos for a few minutes a day, schedule work, participate in a few twin specific groups and that’s it. If you don’t have your phone, what are you going to do? That’s a great question, I have a few ideas!

Sleep – Simple, right? Imagine if you used the time when your baby was sleeping to rest yourself? I bet you’d feel really good.
Bond – I know being with your baby all day is exhausting, but singing, cuddling, talking, and eye contact are so important. They create a strong bond for you and baby.
Self-Care – Imagine if you stretched, how would that feel? What about some light yoga? Sitting in silence? Perhaps a warm bubble bath? All of these would be great for recharging instead of staring at your phone.
Nourishment – We don’t always have time to cook, but what if you took naptime to prep dinner or bake some delicious muffins or make easy energy balls? It probably wouldn’t even take the entire naptime and it’s a way to take care of your future self.
Connect – Call, text or video chat with friends and family. I know, I know it’s on your phone, but this is connection! Being a mama in early postpartum can be lonely. Find ways to share your experiences and feelings, it can be beneficial for all.
Relax – This one is so good! You can meditate, do a mindfulness technique, deep breathing or sit in silence. Moments of relaxation can help you beyond the few minutes you dedicate to it. Plus helps to relieve stress and anxiety, creating calm.
Read – For me I found it hard to focus on a book in early postpartum, so I started using audiobooks. Then I could relax and listen to a story. If you prefer reading, ask friends for books or check out your local library.
Creative – Are there any creative activities you enjoy? When the girls were little I liked coloring! Seriously. I bought one of those adult coloring books and it was relaxing to do in the evening. What are things that make you happy? Coloring? Painting? Drawing? Crafts? Baking? Journaling?
Support – Instead of looking on your phone for answers is there a postpartum support group or mama group in your area? It’s so nice to have mama friends in the same season of life as you. Asking questions of your fellow mamas who are going through similar things can feel so reassuring. I know when I found a twin mama group online it made me feel normal! What I was going through other mamas were as well.

Mama, your phone isn’t all bad! It’s a great tool you can use to find new audiobooks, meditations, connect with friends and family, find new recipes, meal plan, order groceries and so much more. I’m not saying, stop using your phone, but rather, be mindful when you’re picking up and notice how you feel after you use it. If you’re feeling drained or sad or comparing yourself to others, your phone needs a break. If you need someone to talk to or support you in your postpartum journey you can always schedule a free consult with me!