How To Create An Empowering Cesarean Birth Experience

I did not have an empowering cesarean birth. Far from it. It felt like everything went wrong.

My OB was away on holidays, so I had the on call doctor at the hospital, who was the worst. When we were in the operating room I asked if they could let Mark know when they were about to start, they had already started and a baby was about to be born, a nurse ran to get my husband. They gave me so much drugs, laughing gas that I was totally out of it during the procedure, I don’t remember them being born or crying, all I saw was a nurse pop around the curtain with a screaming baby. Then they placed the girls on my chest in towels before taking them to the NICU.

Absolutely nothing about my experience was an empowering cesarean birth. Since it was an emergency cesarean and an unfamiliar doctor I felt unsure how to share my wishes. This was something I should’ve planned for as a person pregnant with twins. I had a lot of shame about my cesarean birth, mostly because I didn’t voice what I wanted.

If I had to do it over again or tell a mama who had a planned cesarean or the possibility of an emergency cesarean based on previous history, multiples or an early birth, here’s what I would say:

WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU?

It doesn’t matter what I say, take a moment to think of your birth whether it’s vaginal or a c-section, what would make it feel special to you? When you imagine giving birth what do you see? What’s important to you when your baby is born?

capture the moment

Whether you have a birth doula, a friend, your partner or a nurse in the room, ask for help to capture the birth. We celebrate vaginal births in their beauty, strength and rawness. A cesarean is still BIRTH. What’s more vulnerable than laying on an operating table allowing another person to cut through several layers of skin, fat, uterus and have no control. The moments of a cesarean birth can show the strength, vulnerability, trust and love a mama has to have to deliver her baby this way. Seeing your baby born, no matter how they arrive, is a beautiful sight.

see your baby

In some hospitals you can request to see your baby being born when you have a cesarean. My friend who delivered in the states had a sheet that could partially be pulled down during the baby being birthed so she could see him come out. This is how you can have an empowering cesarean birth. For me I was so disconnected from my birth and the experience it actually took me quite a while to process the fact that I wasn’t pregnant any more.

bonding

I always thought I would hold my babies after they were born. To be honest, I never knew to ask for it because I thought everyone held their babies after birth. The moments after birth are precious, magical and you can never get them back. ASK TO HOLD YOUR BABY. It’s your right. Unless there is some sort of emergency, after you baby is born have them skin to skin on your chest. Smell them. Love them. See them. Even if someone like your partner or a nurse needs to assist you, you deserve this mama, just like someone who has a vaginal birth. Take those moments. DEMAND THEM.

COMFORT

Although you may be in an operating room, it doesn’t have to be a sterile environment, just like a vaginal birth you can ask for you need. Having an empowering cesarean birth starts with the environment you create. Can they play soft music for you? Do you need an extra blanket? Is your partner there to hold your hand? Are you able to ask the doctors and nurses to speak quietly so you can hear you baby being born?

Journal Your Thoughts

I believe reflection is the key to processing big or difficult moments. You can journal your thoughts or speak to your partner or a friend about how you feel having a cesarean. Then after the birth, write down your birth story or talk about it with your partner or a close friend. Being able to go over the beautiful moments of your birth can allow you to feel how powerful it was.

Mama, I am not going to say you won’t have feelings of disappoint or sadness but you can take steps to make sure you get the birth you imagined. An empowering cesarean is possible. Stand up for yourself, ask for what you want and don’t back down. This is your birth, create the experience you want.

If you need further support with processing your birth, talking about your cesarean, or creating a postpartum plan before the baby arrives, I’m always here.