I couldn’t accept my new body
As a twin mama, I was not prepared for my new body. After I gave birth and entered the postpartum period I was not prepared for my body and how it would change. Obviously I knew I had been pregnant with twins, but all the information I saw or read or was on social media talked about the body bouncing back or that the transition was short to regain your body.
Where was the honest account detailing the changes in a postpartum body? How about a chapter in my baby book that showed a real woman and her journey after birth. The ways her body healed and changed. Even the people who do “bounce back” meaning their pre pregnancy clothes fit and they look somewhat similar to before baby. I guarantee their body doesn’t look the same.
I think I’m one of those people. My pre pregnancy clothes fit, I’m also three years postpartum. But if you were to look underneath the material you’d see saggy skin, stretch marks, a cesarean scar, diastasis recti and a small hernia. Yes, I fit into my clothes. No, my body will never be the same.
Accepting my new body was difficult. I felt like there was something wrong with me, like my body was the only one that was different. Which is not true. Clothes can hide a lot! It took a long time for me to really look at my new body and not simply cover it up. I wanted my old body back, the one without saggy skin and stretch marks. The thing is, I wouldn’t trade my pregnancy or our girls for this new body, so it was time to accept her.
This new body of mine, that can carry two babies in her arms and can run, walk, play, cuddle, hug and still have energy. This new body tells a story, of strength, determination and love. I think of all the moments I rubbed my belly when Evie and Poppy were nestled inside, that’s something I should do now. Touch my belly in a loving way to say, I appreciate you and all you have done. Thank you.
Each year I am braver in the clothes I wear and how I am in my body. She will never be perfect but she tells a story of love.
How do you feel in your postpartum body?
