10 Ways to Set Boundaries in PostpartuM

Set boundaries in postpartum for your mental and physical health

As you know from my previous post, it’s important to set boundaries in postpartum. Even better to make sure you know what those boundaries are before the baby arrives. Then you can communicate them with your family and friends. You outline the boundaries in postpartum because it’s essential for your well-being. Let’s look at some ways you can establish and set boundaries with your family and friends.

Create a Plan with Your Partner

Before you share your boundaries I think it’s a good idea to sit down with your partner to make sure you are on the same page. What are your expectations for number of visitors, help, visiting hours, what kind of help you need,

Communicate Early

Once you’ve decided on what works for your family. Share with those close to you your expectations around visitors, help, support and visiting hours. Clearly express your preferences and outline what works for you.

Establish Visiting Hours

Yes it’s ok to set visiting hours. Mama you will need to rest and recover in early postpartum. If you want “no visitors” during certain times, like after birth, in the first few days and then certain hours of the day, it’s ok to communicate this.

Limit Number of Visitors

You want to be surrounded by people who can be supportive and understanding. As a new mama you don’t want to be worrying about entertaining people or hosting. It’s ok to set a maximum number of visitors.

Delegate Support

Visits are not simply for people to hold the baby and you take care of them. They should be there for you as much as they are for the baby. If you need help, ask. Perhaps they could bring a meal, help with household tasks, throw in a load of laundry.

Be Kind

Boundaries are hard for people. They think of themselves and not you. When you are setting boundaries or reminding someone of your postpartum plan, use phrases like, “We appreciate your love and support, but we need this time to bond and adjust.”

Group Chat

If there are people in your life, like grandparents who want ALL the updates, consider starting a group chat or photo app with those close to you. Then you can send updates, photos and notes to those people.

Be Firm

It’s hard to say no, but sometimes it’s necessary. If someone is having trouble with you setting boundaries, simply remind them of why it’s important to you.

It’s Ok to Reschedule

If you set a visit but then felt overwhelmed, sleep deprived or unwell. Reschedule. You need to make sure you’re doing what’s right for you mama. The visitors can wait.

Practice Self-Care

Part of setting boundaries, is taking care of you, mama! Boundaries are essential for you physical and mental well-being.

Mama it’s ok to prioritize your well-being and what’s right for your family in early postpartum. I think it’s essential in creating a smoother transition after birth. The days and weeks following the birth of your baby are so previous. You don’t have to worry about entertaining or making yourself or your home presentable. The visits are for other people. Creating an environment that works for your family is the most important. It’s hard to set boundaries. Not everyone wants to be told what is best for you. At the end of the day it’s not about anyone else except your new baby, you and your partner. Make sure you’re doing what’s right for you.